Countless Finally How Many Ducks (Part II)

When I was trying to find out more about the song “Countless Finally How Many Ducks” I ran across this video.  It’s a news report.  For fun, I think you should watch the video before you read my translation.  Try to guess what it’s about.

http://bbs1.people.com.cn/postDetail.do?view=2&pageNo=1&treeView=1&id=109841211&boardId=4

—————————————————-

Translation:

Most people only hear of ventriloquism (when you don’t open your mouth but use your abdomen to speak) in martial arts novels.  Such an incredible thing appears nowadays in Harbin Normal University’s most famous female student, Baihao Yi. On the morning of the 30^th, reporters went to Harbin Normal University to see this skilled ventriloquist.

The resulting interview:  Harbin University Student Baihao Yi (Hello, everyone.  My name is Baihao Yi.  Children’s Day is coming.  I wish all the kids out there a happy Children’s Day. <here she sings “Countless Finally How Many Ducks”>)

In another interview with her classmate:  “The first time I heard Baihao Yi use her abdomen to speak I thought it was very mysterious, and I tried it myself, but I couldn’t learn how to do it.”

Her classmate Liushi Hang:  “At the start of university I didn’t at all know she could use her abdomen to speak.  There was one time when I think she was singing to herself with her mouth closed, and I thought it was particularly mysterious.  At the time I didn’t really believe it.  Afterward I made her really close her mouth and talk a little.  I thought it was really miraculous.  I also wanted to learn how, but I couldn’t.”

It was in primary school that Baihao Yi realized she had this amazing skill.  At the time she thought everyone could do it.  She absolutely never thought she had any kind of unique talent.  Afterward she found out she alone had this skill.

Baihao YI: “I found out I could do this in primary school, maybe first or second grade, I don’t remember too well.  At that time, probably when I was playing alone, I randomly let out this kind of sound.  At the time I thought everyone could do it, and I didn’t ask other children, ‘Can you do this?’  Afterwards I learned that everyone around me couldn’t do it.  I went to the hospital to get examined.    I found out I had no abnormalities.”

<more ventriloquism>

This extraordinary capability has brought her and the people around her many delightful moments.  She thinks “ventriloquism” is a gift from heaven.  She says she needs to protect it well and not use it simply for gain.  Her dream is to, after she graduates, continue advanced studies and in the future be an excellent teacher.
———————————–
I’m still a bit skeptical, but it’s a funny video nonetheless.

Countless Finally How Many Ducks (Part I)

The other night while I was chatting on QQ, I had the tv on so I could listen to Chinese in the background.  Suddenly a song came on and I couldn’t understand any of the words, and I was momentarily quite confused until I realized that the song wasn’t in Chinese.  It was English.  Very bad English.  So bad that at first hearing it I thought it was some heavily accented Chinese.  I sat mesmerized for a while and then ran to make this video (which comprises the final song):

The intended lyrics:

countless finally how many ducks
countless finally how many ducks
in front of door under bridge
swim a group of ducks
come come count count
two four six seven eight
ga ga ga ga
really really so many
countless finally how many ducks
countless finally how many ducks

What I actually hear:

countless finally how many dogs
countless finally how many dogs
in front door under bread
soo wam a groo docks
come come counter counter
two four see seven eight
ga ga ga ga
really red so many
countless finally how many dogs
countless finally how many dogs

The Chinese lyrics:

数不清到底多少鸭
数不清到底多少鸭
门前大桥下
游过一群鸭
快来快来数一数
二四六七八
嘎嘎嘎嘎
真呀真多呀
数不清到底多少鸭
数不清到底多少鸭

Pinyin:

Shǔ bù qīng dàodǐ duōshǎo yā
Shǔ bù qīng dàodǐ duōshǎo yā
Mén qián dàqiáo xià
Yóuguò yīqún yā
Kuài lái kuài lái shǔ yī shǔ
Èr sì liù qī bā
Gā gā gā gā
Zhēn ya zhēn duō yā
Shǔ bù qīng dàodǐ duōshǎo yā
Shǔ bù qīng dàodǐ duōshǎo yā

This is a relatively well known Chinese song.  I have friends who can sing it.

As an educational tool, this song fails on two levels, pronunciation and word choice.  Pronunciation still retains a very strong flavor of Chinese.  Hence “duck” sounds more like “dog”.  You can still hear most of the tones of the Chinese song.  When he says “duck” it is even in a high first tone!  Word choice is straight chinglish.  The meaning of the chorus, when much more freely translated, is “I’ve lost count, how many ducks are there really?”  But this doesn’t satisfy the meter of the original (try squeezing that into eight or nine syllables), so absolute nonsense is substituted, “countless finally how many ducks”.

This song really fails on a fundamental level–translation.  I suppose  a very talented translator could maintain the sense and meter of the original and could come up with a decent translation, but you have to ask yourself why.  Apart from amusing foreigners, this song is useless.  If kids want to learn English, teach them an English song.

Here’s a little boy singing the Chinese version:
In this video you see a tiger mom telling her son that he fumbled that last line and will have to sing this line 500 times or face a beating.  Afterward the kid turns away and starts cursing.  Kidding.  No the mom is really encouraging the boy to retry the line he messed up on, but the kid ignores her, turns away, and babbles much like my young learners do when I try to get them to realize the difference, oh so subtle difference, between 1 duck and 2 ducks.  No, try again…two ducks.  TWO DUCK.  No…two ducks.  Tika tika tika gula gula bu bu bu.

and if you can’t access the youtube video:
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/liMq8IxCDGs/

Concern (Part I)

关心  Guānxīn
A word formed by combining 关(Connected) + 心(Heart) = Concern

This is a facet of Chinese culture–Guānxīn–a concept that may seem strange to foreigners.  I’ve compiled a top ten list Chinese “concern” phrases.  These are culturally embedded statements that a Chinese person will say to family or friends to express concern.  If you live in China you will hear them again and again.  They are in no particular order.
1.  多吃一点  Duō chī yīdiǎn
Eat more.
Over the course of dinner it doesn’t really matter how much you’ve eaten, you’ll probably still hear this one.  Eat until you’re sick.

2.  你吃饭了吗  Nǐ chīfànle ma
Have you eaten?
Did you know? Eating is pretty central to Chinese culture.  In an earlier time this question was very serious, but now this has actually become a form of greeting, just like in English when you ask “how are you” with no real intention of understanding your friend’s situation and your friend avoids saying anything personal with a lightly voiced “fine” even if his dog just died.  In Chinese it goes like this:
A.  Have you eaten?
B.  Yes, I have.  Have you?
A.  No, not yet.
B.  Then go eat.
A.  Ok.

3.  早点回家  Zǎodiǎn huí jiā
Go home earlier.
You’re at work.  You’re at school.  You’re out having fun.  Out there somewhere, someone is waiting to tell you to go home soon.  Just don’t tell anyone how late you intend to stay out.

4.  早点睡  Zǎodiǎn shuì
Go to sleep earlier.
Suddenly you’re seven years old again and have to be told when to sleep.

5.  早点休息  Zǎodiǎn xiūxí
Rest earlier.
This is in the same vein as “go to sleep earlier”, but it’s also used in the sense of taking a break from work.  Hmm…do Chinese think that foreigners can’t take hard work?

6.  多休息  Duō xiūxí
Rest more.
Considering how hard the average Chinese person works, this one really makes sense.  You’ll hear this frequently if you get sick.

7.  你冷吗/你热吗  Nǐ lěng ma/Nǐ rè ma
Are you cold? / Are you hot?
It’s cold outside.  Make sure you appear to be wearing  at least 10 layers or else every one of your friends will ask you this question.  Honestly, nonstop.  Or, if you need practice pronouncing lěng just wear a t-shirt on a cold day and answer everyone who asks.  Or it’s really hot.  You’re sitting with a group of friends over hot pot.  The air conditioner is not working, and for some reason all the steam from the hot pot is blowing in your direction and you’re sweating profusely.  Everyone is looking at the dripping foreigner.  To add to your embarrassment, out comes the question which need not be asked.

8.  多穿衣服  Duō chuān yīfú
Wear more clothes.
I swear, as I am writing this post, one of my Chinese friends sent me this in a message (天冷了多穿点衣服).  This one sounds the strangest when translated, nevertheless, on a cold day, any Chinese person looking to exercise his English will whip out this phrase.  I think a better English equivalent is “don’t forget your coat”, but in China indoor heating is less common than in the West, so layering is their solution.

9.  小心感冒  Xiǎoxīn gǎnmào
Be careful. Don’t catch a cold.
Literally “careful cold”, but you get the idea.

10.  你吃药了吗  Nǐ chī yàole ma
Have you taken medicine?
If you exhibit any of the symptoms of a cold, take medicine.  If you don’t you will be hounded for it.  As if you needed to be reminded to take medicine when you have a cold.

(Lagniappe) 注意安全  Zhùyì ānquán
Be safe.
This one covers a lot of bases.

It’s important for foreigners to remember that these statements are intended to show concern.  Though they might sound a bit “mothery” to a westerner, they are said with no such intention.  If you want to better participate in Chinese culture you can try returning the sentiment every once in a while.

Mid Autumn Festival

The Chinese Mid Autumn Festival was on Monday. On this holiday, the Chinese typically gather with their families, gaze at the full moon, and eat moon cakes, a pastry much like a very dense buttermilk biscuit containing a variety of possible fillings. The ones I’ve eaten have had savory and sweet fillings, something resembling a sugary beef jerky.
They’re made to resemble the moon, in line with a legend about a beautiful woman and an immortal
bunny who moved to the moon. I know it sounds wacky. Just wiki it. Around this time of year moon cakes are literally everywhere.
Since my family is not here I was anticipating a rather boring Mid Autumn Day home alone. Fortunately one of my Chinese friends invited me to dinner with her friends. Because they are all from different cities, they couldn’t spend the holiday with family either. It was nice to spend the time with people in a similar position.

A Fish

Bobby, you could give the person responsible for this painting a few pointers.

Language Learning Goal – Knockout

Basketball is big here.  I have a language learning goal for the week, which is to learn more basketball vocabulary, find a basketball court, and teach some kids how to play knockout.  The rules are simple, and the game is fun, but I haven’t seen anyone playing here.  I don’t know if they have their own version here or not.

I find that my Chinese is getting a little stale, mostly because the ways in which I use it are too predictable,  so lately I’ve been considering different ways of adding a bit more diversity to my learning style.  More ideas to come.  If you have any ideas or suggestions I’d love to hear them.

Erkuaiba and Mexican Food

I found a blog with a great picture of fried erkuaiba.  It’s the fourth picture down.  I love this stuff.  But most people from Louisiana say fry anything in pork fat and it’ll taste fantastic.

Guiyang has very little access to Western food.  There’s basically only one restaurant that specializes in real foreign cuisine, and when I passed by yesterday, I noticed they were advertising Mexican food–enchiladas, tostadas, and tacos.  Upon seeing this, I could not contain my excitement, but my Chinese friend couldn’t understand.  But consider that I’ve lived in Dallas for five years, and she’s only seen two Spanish speakers in person in her entire life (and only then because I pointed them out to her after hearing them speak Spanish).  Sadly, it was too late, and the kitchen had closed, so we returned today for lunch.  My friend ordered tacos, and I the enchiladas.  I have to say they were pretty decent, except for the fact that the two different dishes were almost the same.  At first I thought they had made a mistake with the order.  I asked the waitress what the difference was between the tacos and the enchiladas.  She went into the kitchen, came back and told us the tacos were baked a little longer and folded differently.  Well, yes, obviously.    I still have to give them credit for making everything, including the tortillas, from scratch.

Update

I should start with the obvious.  It’s been far too long since I’ve added anything to this blog.  This is partially because writing takes me a long time but mostly because I don’t have a well defined purpose for the blog.  Since some people have been asking, I want to give a small update on my life here in Guiyang.

Things have been going pretty well.  Life is pretty comfortable at the moment.  I’ve learned a lot about the difficulties that Chinese people face in learning English, and I feel like I’m a much better teacher than I was a year ago, though there’s always room for improvement.

As for my Chinese, after eight months of hacking away at it, I would say I’m somewhere between pre-intermediate and intermediate.  I’ve noticed that more and more people tend to whisper around me, whereas in the past they would simply speak openly.  I take the whispering as a compliment.  Also, last week I started learning 汉字， i.e. Chinese characters.  I can recognize about a hundred, which is only a drop in the ocean, but you have to start somewhere.  That said, I can’t write characters, but I can use pinyin to send messages.

I’m beginning to actually use my kitchen, and I finally got around to buying an oven.  That means cookies.  Baking just hasn’t caught on around here, so if I want a decent cookie or cake or whatever, I have to make it myself.  My current culinary project is to learn how to make one of my favorite local dishes, fried erkuaiba.  I don’t really know how to explain what it is, but it’s made from rice, and it’s not quite a noodle.  Since there have been requests, I plan to write more about the food in the future.

Lots of interesting stuff going on– just haven’t gotten around to writing it.

What is Your English Name?

Chinese students, when they study English, need to choose an English name.  Their methods for making this important choice vary, and, because Chinese people often have no idea of the canon of commonly accepted English names, their choice is sometimes hilarious  Some directly translate their name into English (Little Fish).  Some pick an English word that they like the meaning of, but which we would never call someone (Lighty).  Others steal a name from a character from a show or a book (Sookie).  And others will simply pick a name that sounds like their Chinese name (Mouse).

Here’s a selection of some of my more unusually named students and people I’ve met:

Boys: Kirby, Jay Kell, Bunny, Banana, Sky, Panda

Girls: Jelly, Lorla, Rita1, Rita2, Mann, Scally

Men: Lion, Lighty

Women: Only, Dove, Yoyo, Tinny, Ice, Sookie

Mann is the funniest to me because she’s an eight year old girl, the size of a twig, and super quiet.  I once called her “gun” by accident, because I couldn’t recall her name and could only remember it was something hyper-masculine.  Rita1 and Rita2 were named that way by another teacher out of convenience, because there are two in the class, and the names stuck.  Scally is an obscure Irish name.  Banana is six, and the class gets a kick out of it when I mime a banana omnomnom.  Ice is probably the coolest name I’ve come across–pun unintentional.

Eventually I will have to decide on a Chinese name for myself.  So far, the Chinesification of Andre sounds appealing: 安德列 ān dé liè, unless I’m making this up, it has a meaning something along the lines of “quiet virtue”.  Strangely accurate, no?

An Evening of Amway Global, Nunchucks, and Magic

As I was about to leave work, one of my Chinese coworkers stopped me and invited me to a party, to which  I asked,  “What kind of party?”

“An opening party.”

“Huh, don’t know what that means, Ok.”

So, even though I had no clear idea of what was in store, we headed out from work to the place.  Balloons were hung all over the wall, there was a stage in front, chairs set up in a horseshoe fashion, and a table in back with refreshments, all celebrating the opening of an Amway location. As we arrive, all the eyes in the room turn to me, being the only foreigner in the room.  People one by one make their way over to investigate this curious foreigner.  After a bit of chat, everyone sat down and the boss came out for introductions.  All of a sudden, the DJ starts some thumping techno music, everyone there starts clapping to the beat, and my Chinese friend runs behind the stage.  He comes back out, spinning  a pair of wooden nunchucks.  He displays some tricks to the delight of the crowd, and then another guy runs out with flashy metal nunchucks, and they start a mock fight, accompanied by much hooting from the crowd.  The new guy swings a bit more wildly and enthusiastically, and the crowd is in awe but also slightly afraid as he shows just enough of a lack of technical skill and spatial awareness to make everyone instinctively lean away.  He accidentally knocks a balloon from the ceiling, and you can see the new idea slide across his face as he begins to attack more balloons in an attempt to pop them.  Know your enemy.  Balloons can be a tough foe, especially the poorly inflated ones, but he manages to pop a couple, and the crowd whoops as the combatant squints with satisfaction.  The two men have a bow, and the boss comes back out to display all of the new products.  If the employee can say all of the ways the product can be used, he wins the product.  This infomercial type portion of the party was followed by quite a long amateur magic show from another employee.  More oohs and aahs from the crowd, and the boss comes out to wrap up the opening party/employee talent show, and people take loads of pictures with me, to commemorate I don’t know what.

It all really happened.  Sometimes, when I’m in the strangest of situations here, I have to remind myself that I’m not dreaming.

The side story is about a nine year old girl who was there with her mom.  She was totally shy at first.  Her mom would turn her toward me, prompting her to talk to me, the English teacher, and she would turn away.  It seemed that she would never get up the courage to approach me, but after some encouragement from me and my Chinese friend she tried out some English on me.  She clearly didn’t know enough English and kept looking to my friend to know what she she should ask and what I was saying, so I suggested that she teach me Chinese.  She looks around and sees an apple on the table.  She holds it out in front of me and I reply “píngguǒ”.  She is visibly excited, quickly warming up to me, and she asks if I can write it.  I tell her no, and she runs off to get a pen and paper.  Written Chinese is very complex, something that I’m not focusing on right now, so this moment was my first introduction by a Chinese person on stroke order, by a nine year old girl.  But an expert is an expert.  苹果 (apple) is made up of two characters: 苹sounds like “píng”  and 果 sounds like “guǒ”.  Each character is composed of a precise ordering and placement of 8 strokes.  Chinese kids memorize all of these, but for foreign learners of Chinese, writing is the great monolith.  Needless to say, I made plenty of mistakes, and my teacher was very demanding.  Her shyness had completely departed, and she was guiding my hand through the individual strokes.  I had become the student, and by the end of the night I could write my first Chinese word.